I am teaching a class at church based on the “The Soul’s Conspiracy” By Gary Simmons. It is about mastering conflict and transforming your life. Last night’s class was all about communication. Compassionate communication. There are 2 parts to compassionate communication. Authentic listening and conscious speaking.
Authentic listening means to listen to understand. Many times we are so concerned about what we will respond, that we really don’t listen and hear what the other person is saying and how he/she are feeling.
Conscious speaking is also important. There is a 4 step process for doing this using I messages. Jane Simmons says: “When using I Messages, we communicate in such a way that we own our experience. A formula you can use when practicing I Messages is:
I feel (emotion)
when (something happens)
because I need (unmet need)
so my request is (clear request)
Example: I feel really frustrated when the dishes aren’t done when I come home from work, because I need some order in the kitchen to cook dinner. So, my request is that the television not go on until the dishes are done.”
I invite you to try this.
Vibrant Living Tip
Notice how you are feeling this week. When something happens that creates a bit of tension in you, stop and use the 4 step process. See how you feel. Does it create a win-win?
Vibrant Living Take Away
Anytime we can use compassionate communication in our interactions with others, we create an environment where everyone feels heard and appreciated.
Until next time... Live Vibrantly!
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